Seclusion of Self

"Main, aur meri tanhayi, aksar ye baat karte hain..."

I gave you a clue about this Blog post in the 'Day of Discussions'. Yes, it's about taking a little time to sit alone, and think over on the issues which are in your mind. When you browse through the dictionary, the word seclusion will mean Privacy, Quiet, Isolation, etc. Sometimes, it becomes necessary to isolate our self from a crowd, to create our own space. While it is done by your will most of the time, sometimes it happens on its own. You might have observed it when you hang out with your large group of friends, or in any team. You might feel alone even in a crowd. That time, you feel the necessity of your privacy or a few moments of solitude. That's seclusion.

Right from our childhood days, we have been hearing about the power of meditation. Well, I'm in no mood to teach you that, because when you feel secluded, you are partially in a state of meditation. Next time when this feeling runs through you, just observe, your eyes will automatically get fixed to any object in your view and your mind will start juggling the thoughts. So, what's so special about it? The answer is, seclusion, or the feeling of isolation lets you to think and analyze a lot of issues. These issues may be regarding your personal, professional, or social life. When you think about them, you talk to some of friends who are always with you, within you. They are your mind, heart and soul. There is a friend within. Trust me, you will feel relieved when you think about the issues and ask questions to yourselves and search for the answers on your own. It makes you independent too.

So my pal, don't get lost in a crowd. Realize yourself. Look within you. There is a lot to be discovered. Find a little time to sit alone, free up your mind, feel the breeze, breath deep, wear a smile, and start thinking...

A Day of Discussions

Today I went to Ansal Plaza with couple of my friends, a boy and a girl. Both of them are very jovial in nature, and are very close to me. It has been a really long time we three hanged out at such a place. We roamed there as usual, ate burgers at Mc Donalds and enjoyed a lot. We then sat at the main stairs of the central amphitheatre. My friend kept throwing shots of words towards me hoping I'll chat with her, but I was lost in thoughts... I felt like sitting alone... Loneliness sometimes allows me to think and analyze a lot of issues. I was planning to write my next Blog post on my solitude... I'll do it very soon...

"Hey Ritesh, what do you have to say about the relationship between a boy and a girl when they have affair between them? How far it's true? What should be its limits?"

A question was thrown to me suddenly by the girl sitting next to me. I was lost in my own dream world. But when I acknowledged that question, I started to think over it. The question which came to me like a storm was actually a logical and sensitive one. In a matter of few minutes, the question got changed to the topic and there was a war of words between the three of us. Each one of us was trying to put forward our own views over it. I can't say exactly who was right and who was wrong. Everyone was correct at their stand. The answer to the question actually depends upon the type of relation, the level of commitment, the mentality of the boy and girl, and many other such factors. At the end of the discussion, I concluded a few things which I thought to share with you all...

To start with, why is there a need to be in such a relationship before marriage? Many of us will say that it helps us to find the right partner for our future. Some will say that it's just to spend quality time with each other and to be with each other in their good and bad times. Some will say it's just because both of them want to satisfy their physical needs. For the second cause, I think a very good friend is more than enough. For the first reason, we have to proceed a little further than normal friendship. As far as the third reason is concerned, I'm strictly against it. It's better to use a brothel than spoiling one's life by starting an affair with her or him.

So proceeding with the first two reasons, which are very common, the main thing required in them is the commitment and a good level of maturity from both the boy as well as the girl. But it's very rare. In majority of the cases, the commitment comes only from a single person. Sometimes both of them are committed to each other, but the situations don't favor them. Despite of their commitments, they can't proceed further in that relationship due to their family, their society, or some other reasons. But if that person is mad about his or her partner, they end up in getting into depression and mentally ill. It shows the poor level of maturity of that person. There should be a better understanding between you and your partner. Both should respect each other's feelings.

But as I said earlier, each case is different from the other. A friend can only advice and guide you. It's you who have to take the final decisions in such matter. And while doing so, you should keep in mind every single dimension that will be affected. That is the real test of your maturity, your personality and yourself. As far as I'm concerned, well I think it's all a waste of time. When I've very good friends like you around me, then who cares about all this damn relationships. They give unnecessary headaches. Hope you understand what I mean...